[9] For you have oftentimes heard, that true happiness consists in the right discourses and counsels of the mind,
tending to its own constant establishment, and that the changes of Fortune are of no great importance to the felicity of our
life. But even if we must also be governed by exterior things, and with the common sort of people have a regard to casualties,
and suffer any kind of men to be judges of our happiness, however, do not you take notice of the tears and moans of such as
visit you at present, condoling your misfortunes; for their tears and sighs are but of course. But rather, do you consider
how happy every one of them esteems you for the children you have, the house you keep, and the life you lead. For it would be
an ill thing, while others covet your fortune, though sullied with this affliction, that you should exclaim against what
you enjoy, and not be sensible, from the taste of affliction, how grateful you ought to be for the happiness which remains
untouched. Or, like some who, collecting all the defective verses of Homer, pass over at the same time so many excellent
parts of his poems, so shall we peevishly complain of and reckon up the inconveniences of our life, neglecting at the same
time promiscuously the benefits thereof? Or, shall we imitate covetous and sordid misers, who, having heaped together much
riches, never enjoy what they have in possession, but bewail it if it chance to be lost?
But if you lament the poor girl because she died unmarried and without offspring, you have wherewithal to comfort
yourself, in that you are defective in none of these things, having had your share. And these are not to be esteemed at
once great evils where they are wanted, and small benefits where they are enjoyed. But so long as she is gone to a place
where she feels no pain, what need is there of our grief? For what harm can befall us from her, when she is free from
all hurt? And surely the loss of even great things abates the grief, when it is come to this, that we have no need or
use of them. But thy Timoxena was deprived but of small matter; for she had no knowledge but of such, neither took she
delight but in such small things. But for that which she never was sensible of, and which did not so much as once enter
into her thoughts, how can you say it is taken from her?
[10] As for what you hear others say, who persuade the vulgar that the soul, when once freed from the
body, suffers no inconvenience or evil nor is sensible at all, I know that you are better grounded in the doctrines
delivered down to us from our ancestors, as also in the sacred mysteries of Bacchus, than to believe such stories;
for the religious symbols are well known to us who are of the fraternity. Therefore be assured, that the soul, being
incapable of death, is affected in the same manner as birds that are kept in a cage. For if she has been a long time
educated and cherished in the body, and by long custom has been made familiar with most things of this life, she will
(though separable) return again, and at length enter the body; nor ceaseth it by new births now and then to be
entangled in the chances and events of this life. For do not think that old age is therefore evil spoken of and
blamed, because it is accompanied with wrinkles, gray hairs, and weakness of body. But this is the most troublesome
thing in old age, that it maketh the soul weak in its remembrance of divine things, and too earnest for things relating
to the body; thus it bendeth and boweth, retaining that form which it took of the body. But that which is taken
away in youth, being more soft and tractable, soon returns to its native vigor and beauty. Just as fire that is
quenched, if it be forthwith kindled again, sparkles and burns out immediately. . . . So most speedily
’Twere good to pass the gates of death,
before too great a love of bodily and earthly things be engendered in the soul, and it become soft and tender
by being used to the body, and (as it were) by charms and potions incorporated with it.
[11] But the truth of this will appear in the laws and traditions received from our ancestors /3/.
For when children die, no libations nor sacrifices are made for them, nor any other of those ceremonies which are
wont to be performed for the dead. For infants have no part of earth or earthly affections. Nor do we hover or
tarry about their sepulchres or monuments, or sit by when their dead bodies are exposed. The laws of our country
forbid this, and teach us that it is an impious thing to lament for those whose souls pass immediately into a better
and more divine state. Wherefore, since it is safer to give credit to our traditions than to call them in question,
let us comply with the custom in outward and public behavior, and let our interior be more unpolluted, pure, and holy...
Here, abruptly, ends Plutarch's Consolatory Letter to His Wife.
NOTES
/1/
Tanagra. A a community north of Athens in Boeotia, not far from Thebes, that was noted
in antiquity for its mass-produced mold-cast and fired terracotta figurines.
/2/
Quoting Homer, Iliad 22.126 and Odyssey 19.163.
/3/ According to Plutarch public regulation of
women's mourning practices went back, in Greek history, at least to Solon, of
whom he writes (Life of Solon, 21):
He regulated the walks, feasts, and mourning of the women, and took away everything that was either unbecoming
or immodest; when they walked abroad, no more than three articles of dress were allowed them; an obol's worth
of meat and drink; and no basket above a cubit high; and at night they were not to go about unless in a chariot with
a torch before them. Mourners tearing themselves to raise pity, and set wailings, and at one man's funeral to lament
for another, he forbade. To offer an ox at the grave was not permitted, nor to bury above three pieces of dress with
the body, or visit the tombs of any besides their own family, unless at the very funeral; most of which are likewise
forbidden by our laws, but this is further added in ours, that those that are convicted of extravagance in their mournings,
are to be punished as soft and effeminate by the censors of women.